Good evening Madam President, Madam Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and very welcome guests.
Hands up if you have ever found yourself in a position where you have faced rejection or setbacks.
How many times have we all just had to put one foot in front of the other and keep going, even though we may not want to. Whether its dealing with a horrible boss, or having to deal with some other unpleasantness.
“Extraordinary people visualise not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. By visualising the impossible, they begin to see it as possible” – Cherie Carter-Scott
Today, I want to share a story of the remarkable power that lies in refusing to accept “no” as the final answer. It’s a testament to how unwavering determination can transform challenges into opportunities and lead to truly amazing outcomes.
Throughout history, countless individuals have faced rejection, setbacks, and seemingly insurmountable odds. Yet, it’s those who refused to be discouraged by the word “no” that have left an indelible mark on the world.
Consider inventors, entrepreneurs, and visionaries who were repeatedly told that their ideas wouldn’t work, only to persevere and prove the naysayers wrong. While the world often celebrates the exceptional, let us recognise that greatness resides in the hearts of ordinary people like you and me.
It’s not just about stubbornness: it’s about cultivating a mindset of resilience and commitment to ones goals. When faced with obstacles, rather than accepting defeat, these people saw them as stepping stones to success. Their determination fuelled a relentless pursuit of excellence, turning setbacks into launching pads for extraordinary achievements.
There are countless unsung heroes who’ve impacted lives in profound ways, often without fanfare. It’s not the scale of the action that defines extraordinariness, but rather the intent and impact behind it. We’re all capable of leaving lasting impressions, creating a legacy that transcends our own lifetimes.
Our legacy isn’t measured by grand achievements alone, but by the relationships we nurture and the kindness we extend. Each small act of goodness contributes to a collective force that shapes the world for the better.
As we navigate our daily lives, let’s remember that every interaction holds the potential to make a difference.
I am going to talk about my Grandfather, James, and a woman named Ann Killoran, both of whom have done their best to help their communities, both have done it for genuine reasons and not for the kudos that they receive for doing it.
“Good deeds are for satisfaction. Not for recognition. “ – Akhila Chinni
These are my grandparents James and Mona on the wedding day.
My Grandfather, James was born into a farming family in Curry, Co Sligo in March 1920 and died in March 1983. He was one of 14, of which 4 didn’t make it past the age of 2. There were 3 girls and 11 boys.
The family farm had poor drainage due to it being very boggy land and had been in the family for many generations, until my grandfathers brother sold it.
The farm was on a boreen that didn’t feature on a map until more recent times. The family was not well off and my grandfather had one pair of shoes that he was only allowed to wear to mass, the rest of the time, including going to school, he was barefoot.
The family lived in a traditional thatched 2 bedroom cottage, with no running water, the girls were in one room, the boys in the other and their parents slept by the fire in the main living space.
My Grandfather told us that he remembers having to walk to the local well to fetch buckets of water for the family to bath. His family were like many families in the West of Ireland in the last century in that they had big families and very little money.
Curry is a townland in the hinterland of Tubbercurry, so he frequently said he was from Tubbercurry as it was the nearest big town to where he was from, and he considered it his hometown.
My Grandfather had to leave school at the age of 14, as his father told him that the family needed him to earn money to help support them. My grandfather said that this was the greatest disappointment in his life as he loved school, but, he did as requested and started to work over 25kms away as an apprentice grocer in Ballaghaderreen, Co Roscommon.
When on the bus driving through the square in Ballaghaderreen for the first time to start his new job, he saw a girl with long red hair skipping down the road. He told us later that he thought to himself, “I’ll marry that girl one day,”, and indeed he did, that girl was my Grandmother. They married in Soho, London and together they had 5 children, 11 grandchildren, and so far 17 great grandchildren.
Like many people of his generation and all his surviving siblings he needed to emigrate, in his case he went to England, as did most of his siblings, the rest went to America and in the case of one his sisters she bounced around the world as she was an air hostess. Like many of his siblings, he came home again when it came time to start a family.
My grandfather went on to become a successful entrepreneur with a variety of business interests. Even after he moved to England and then Dublin, he always kept close to his roots, which he was always incredibly proud of, and to his family and his hometown, which included him opening businesses in Tubbercurry, as well as owning some properties there too.
My Grandfather always had a good heart and a humanitarian element to his personality and loved to be able to help people as much as he could.
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars” – Oscar Wilde
This is Tubbercurry, Co. Sligo. According to the last census in 2022, the population is 2,307. It is the second largest town in Sligo, by both population and land area and lies at the foot of the ox mountains.
It is twinned with Viarmes in France and in 2008 achieved the status of a fair-trade town. Its earliest mention is in 1397 when a battle took place. It has three annual festivals, including the snappily titled, South Sligo Summer School of Traditional music, dancing and song, the Old Fair Day festival and the Western Drama festival.
Curry is a village that has, according to the 2011 census, a population of 148 people, its entry on Wikipedia is 7 lines long. My point is it is a small place. Oddly, when I lived in London, I met a guy, who was friends with a Yorkshire friend of mine, who’s family was from Curry. Small world.
Richard Russo said “People in small towns, much more than in cities, share a destiny”.
Mrs Ann Killoran, nee Regan, originally from Strokestown, co. Roscommon moved just over 62kms to Tubbercurry, Co. Sligo in 1958, having met and married her husband Tommie, who was also not originally from Tubbercurry.
Mrs Killoran was a manageress of a premises in Sligo when they met. Together they went on to have six children and fifteen grandchildren together. I am sure that when Mrs Killoran moved to Tubbercurry with her new husband, she probably expected to maybe work in the pub she and her husband were running and then work at being a good mother and wife.
By the time the Killoran’s had finished building their empire, Mrs Killoran was the unofficial Mayor of Tubbercurry, and they, together, successfully ran and owned a pub, restaurant, travel agent, and ice cream machine.
That ice cream machine got absolutely hammered by my cousins and I on another occasion. We had competitions to see how tall a cone we could pull and eat. That was the first and last time I tried to pull a cone, I was pretty bad at it, my cones were wonky and kept leaning at precarious angles. I learnt that if you wanted the ice cream to stay on the cone, you needed to put a root of ice cream into the cone to balance everything, a bit like a building foundation.
They had expanded their realm into Ballaghaderreen, I remember driving through Ballaghaderreen one day when I saw the Killoran Travel Agent, on the blind it said “Killoran’s Travel Agency, Tubbercurry, Ballaghaderreen, and I filled in Buenos Aires, Rio de Janeiro”.
We were at an event in Killoran’s one day when my cousins and I figured out how to hack the jukebox, the adults decided that they wanted the one song played on repeat, so we listened to eternal flame by the Bangles about a million times that day.
The programme ‘Normal People’ shot some scenes in the Killoran’s pub, as Tubbercurry became the town Carricklea.
In October 1973, Mrs Killoran had her sixth child, a daughter named Margaret, who had Downs Syndrome. Margaret’s arrival changed the lives of not only her family, but, those of many other people.
Within 8 years of Margret arriving, Mrs Killoran’s determination and activism started a ball rolling that is still rolling today and has led to some major changes in the town. Mrs Killoran is now in her 90’s and is still going, still trying to improve things for other people and has what seems like an unquenchable energy for life.
In November 1981 Ann posted an ad in the Sligo Champion paper where she invited people to a public meeting in Killoran’s Restaurant.
Mrs Killoran wanted to raise awareness and funds for a proposed local Resource centre for those with intellectual disabilities, this idea was prompted by both her daughter Margaret and the fact that the nearest suitable schooling for Margaret involved a 105 Km trip to Cregg House, in Rosses Point.
Mrs Killoran had noticed that there was a lack of services in the South Sligo area, so she decided to do something about that. Little did Mrs Killoran and the 33 people who went to that first meeting, realise that Mrs Killoran’s idea would be copied in communities across the country.
Mrs Killoran approached my Grandfather, who used to regularly eat in Killoran’s restaurant, about the old courthouse building that he owned on the main street. Grandad donated the building to her for the centre, and it was subsequently refurbished into workshops, training and recreational facilities.
My Grandfather died in 1983, so the rest of our extended family took over helping to fund and help the facility. Ann and her committee also raised £135,000, which was a hell of a lot in the 80’s.
It took another 8 years for the centre, named Gallagher House to open in 1989.
The centre has expanded the numbers of people it can cater for over the years and it became the first part of an expanded plan that Mrs Killoran made happen. This included a respite care facility, that she got help with from the Mulholland family and a garden centre.
Mrs Killoran also convinced FAS to redevelop and refurbish the property as well as the HSE to fund and arrange for the centres management. Mrs Killoran was always thinking long term about the continuing future of the centre and those who used it.
This is a photo Mrs Killoran and her husband Tommie, and a second photo of Mrs Killoran and her daughter Margaret in their restaurant. You can see part of a portrait of my grandfather behind them, and another photo with my grandmother in it. The items behind them are part of the history of the centre.
Mrs Killoran won the Sligo person of the year award, The Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy Award and has been celebrated by Sligo County Council, for all her hard work.
Mrs Killoran started influencing her new community from the moment she arrived, she was instrumental in setting up the local athletics club in the 1950’s and has been actively involved in the GAA all her adult life. She was also involved in the famine graveyard committee.
Up until the last couple of years Mrs Killoran would go to the all Ireland final every year, even in her 90’s.
Mrs Killoran’s daughter Margaret died in November 2021 aged 48 having had Alzheimer’s for a number of years. Due to the number of people who came to pay their respects to her and her heartbroken family, Margaret’s funeral shut Tubbercurry down for a while on a cold November day.
Mrs Killoran managed to achieve what she wanted to do for her daughter, Margaret. Margret spent her life at home, with her family, friends and loved ones where she was supported by her community.
Margaret was not only ‘the girl who woke a town’, as was reported in the papers, when they recorded her death, she was also the mascot and face of her mothers hard work and determination.
The legacy that Mrs Killoran will leave, when she leaves her family for the final time, for not only her family, but, for the people of Tubbercurry and far beyond will be one of love, kindness, hard work, and unselfish generosity of time, energy and determination.
Mrs Killoran’s ideas and actions have helped many people over the years and will continue to do so for many years to come.
Mrs Killoran, Tubbercurry, James Gallagher and Gallagher House are now wound together in ways I don’t think either Mrs Killoran or my Grandfather could ever have imagined back in 1981. I’m sorry Grandad never got to see what Mrs Killoran achieved, but, I know that he would have been very happy with the impact of the resource centre and his ongoing support would have been total and unquestioning.
If he was still alive, I have no doubt that he and Mrs Killoran would still be having long tea fuelled conversations around a kitchen table hatching plans that would help others.
Where they both started their lives and what they achieved was probably a surprise to some strangers who watched them, but, to those who knew them, really knew them, it may have been obvious that these two people would influence and help their communities.
Neither one of them accepted no as an answer.
They both dreamed of things that others thought they could never achieve, and then they achieved it.
I know my grandfather made a difference because on a number of occasions people have approached us at his grave to tell us what a good man or what a gentleman he was, in a couple of months it will be 41 years since he died.
Someone once said, “What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”
In summary, we all have the ability to do extraordinary things, even if you don’t think it.
Let’s internalise this lesson in own lives. When met with resistance or rejection, let it be the fuel for our determination. The word “no” should not be a roadblock but a mere pause in the journey towards greatness.
By channelling our inner resolve, we can turn adversity into advantage and, against all odds, make amazing things happen.
In conclusion, fellow Toastmasters, let’s embrace the power of persistence and the refusal to accept “no” as the final verdict.
Our determination is a force that can reshape our destinies and lead us to extraordinary accomplishments. As we face challenges, may we remember that our unwavering spirit can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.
Let’s also embrace the idea that extraordinary things stem from the ordinary moments we share. May we leave behind a legacy of compassion, understanding, and positive impact on the lives of those we hold dear. After all, it is in these simple, genuine acts that our true greatness lies.
Thank you Toastmasters.
You Know When You 